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Registered: 09-2004
Posts: 291
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Re: Joke of the day:)


This is a long one and from the same URL as the previous joke.

Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.
One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"? The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension. Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold Cinderella said, "Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother".

The fairy godmother replied "it is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?"

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had."

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?"

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said, "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life. With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared. For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.


Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, & held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered..........

"Bet you're sorry you neutered me."


---
Which MLM would Ted Nugent be most likely to join
http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniverseandeverything3.f1.t83
8/11/2005, 7:00 pm Link to this post Send Email to LottomagicZ4941   Send PM to LottomagicZ4941
 
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Re: Joke of the day:)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Texas recently with two
ice chests of fish. He was leaving a cove well known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"Naw, sir, I ain't got none of them there licenses, no. You must understand
these here are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?" said the game warden.

"Ya. Every night I take these here fish down to da lake and let them swim
'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump rat back into this here ice
chest and I take them home."

"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" says the warden

The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's
the truth Mr. Government man, I'll show you. It really works."

"Okay," said the game warden, " I've GOT to see this!"

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"

"Well, what?" said the redneck.

The warden said, "When are you going to call them back?"

The redneck said, "Call who back?"

"The FISH!" replied the warden.

"What fish?" answered the redneck.


We in Texas may not be as smart as some city slickers,
but we aren't as dumb as most government employees...

found on
http://internet-ez.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=5053#5053

Lotto
http://www.flalottomagic.net/?sponsor=Z1212
MagicZ4941A

---
Which MLM would Ted Nugent be most likely to join
http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniverseandeverything3.f1.t83
1/3/2006, 6:48 pm Link to this post Send Email to LottomagicZ4941   Send PM to LottomagicZ4941
 
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Re: Joke of the day:)


Joke of the day awardemoticon

Found on http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=259109

"A visitor to a mental institution asked the Director how he decided which patients should be kept in...

The Director said "We fill the bath with water, then offer the patient a teaspoon, a teacup or a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub"

The visitor said "Oh, I see...a normal person would choose the bucket, because it's biggest"

The Director said "No, a normal person would pull the [edited]ing plug out...would you like a bed near the window?"
__________________
Sam xxx "

And now today's advert of the day

Lost my cut and paist advert because I thought this was cool

Visitors Online
United States: 4
Canada: 1
Denmark: 1
United Kingdom: 1
7 visitors in 4 countries
NeoCounter

http://www.heytruebluehits.com/?ref=101


Total visitors
 United States: 151
 Canada: 33
 China: 31
 United Kingdom: 26
 Netherlands: 15
 Germany: 15
 India: 9
 Bulgaria: 9
 France: 9
 Malaysia: 8
 Singapore: 8
 Australia: 7
 Hungary: 6
 Taiwan: 6
 Japan: 5
 Sweden: 5
 Argentina: 4
 Romania: 4
 Thailand: 4
 Italy: 3
 Lithuania: 3
 Belgium: 3
 Egypt: 3
 Spain: 3
 Finland: 3
 Hong Kong: 2
 Mexico: 2
 Norway: 2
 Poland: 2
 Russian Federation: 2
 Denmark: 2
 Ireland: 1
 Kazakstan: 1
 Nigeria: 1
 New Zealand: 1
 Philippines: 1
 Pakistan: 1
 Barbados: 1
 Belarus: 1
 Slovenia: 1
 Turkey: 1
 Colombia: 1
 Ukraine: 1
 Vietnam: 1
 Satellite Provider: 1
399 visitors in 45 countries
NeoCounter

I was just about to send out my safe list advert and when I saw this I cut and paisted it with out thinking!!!

http://www.heytruebluehits.com/?ref=101

Orginal E-mail for the safe list inquired what your 3 favorite surfs were.
http://myfreeadvertisingforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=553

Lotto
http://www.freelottomagic.com/?sponsor=Z1212
MagicZ4941A
PS I'm in a referal contest please join this TE for free http://www.ultracoolsurfin.com/?ref=59
PPS The ultimate comp plan John 3:16


---
Which MLM would Ted Nugent be most likely to join
http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniverseandeverything3.f1.t83
10/13/2006, 8:56 pm Link to this post Send Email to LottomagicZ4941   Send PM to LottomagicZ4941
 
clostel Profile
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Registered: 01-2006
Location: Terra Firma
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Re: Joke of the day:)


Enjoy this one lotto man!!!!!

Joke from http://com1.runboard.com/b13thcentury
 emoticon
Who is Jack Schitt?

The lineage is finally revealed.
Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!".

Read on & you will be able to handle the situation intelligently.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt & O. Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.

Jack Schitt Married Noe Schitt, & the deeply religious couple begat 6 children:
Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, & the twins Deap Schitt & Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt Married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop-out.

After 15 years of marriage, Jack Schitt & Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, & out of devotion to her children,
decided to hyphenate her last name, & became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt.
The couple produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt & Giva Schitt, inseparable throughout childhood, subsequently married
the Happens brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding,
which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, & Hoarse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He returned from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt.

So, NOW if someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!", you can beg to differ.
You not only know Jack Schitt, but the entire Schitt list!
 
7/26/2007, 10:41 pm Link to this post Send PM to clostel
 
LottomagicZ4941 Profile
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Posts: 291
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Re: Joke of the day:)


quote:

clostel wrote:

Enjoy this one lotto man!!!!!

Joke from http://com1.runboard.com/b13thcentury
 emoticon
Who is Jack Schitt?

The lineage is finally revealed.
Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!".

Read on & you will be able to handle the situation intelligently.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt & O. Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.

Jack Schitt Married Noe Schitt, & the deeply religious couple begat 6 children:
Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, & the twins Deap Schitt & Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt Married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop-out.

After 15 years of marriage, Jack Schitt & Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, & out of devotion to her children,
decided to hyphenate her last name, & became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt.
The couple produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt & Giva Schitt, inseparable throughout childhood, subsequently married
the Happens brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding,
which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, & Hoarse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He returned from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt.

So, NOW if someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!", you can beg to differ.
You not only know Jack Schitt, but the entire Schitt list!
 



LOL I already re-e-posted it!!! On NettrafficChat the official traffic bunnie forumemoticon

Did you hear about the schit that won the lotto?

He was stinking richemoticon



---
Which MLM would Ted Nugent be most likely to join
http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniverseandeverything3.f1.t83
7/28/2007, 1:08 am Link to this post Send Email to LottomagicZ4941   Send PM to LottomagicZ4941
 


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